Saturday, December 31, 2011

XS Stock Light Freighter

We’ve talked about the Star Wars: The Old Republic MMO a few times before it officially launched. Now that I’ve been playing it for a little while I can honestly say I love the game. I’m planning a much longer article on that though; today I want to talk about something very important to my Smuggler, his ship. Smuggler players are given an XS Stock Light Freighter; other classes are rewarded with other ships.

Even though I was disappointed with Dark Horse’s replica Normandy I’m going to put this out there, I want a replica XS. There have been tons of vehicle lines for the Star Wars universe, there needs to be one for the Old Republic. I’m not asking for something the size of a coffee table like the deluxe Millennium Falcon. Something in the scale of the old Action Fleet would be fantastic. Hell I’d even take something in the smaller Titanium series. This is an amazing looking ship and I want one for my desk.

Please Hasbro. The only other option I’d have would be to buy the Millennium Falcon Lego set and then modify it to look like the XS. That sounds like a very large and expensive work around. Unless of course Lego wants to do an Old Republic wave, then I’d be rendered powerless and would have to buy one.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Bad Ass

We live in strange times my friend. A trailer for the movie Bad Ass just hit the internet. Danny Trejo, Charles S. Dutton, and Ron Perlman are all in it. Bad Ass is based on the “Epic Beard Man” video from 2010. If you are unfamiliar with the video it shows two men having an argument on a bus that ends with the older of the two unleashing a furious beat down. Because of his white beard and “I am a Mother Fucker” t-shirt the internet dubbed him Epic Beard Man. Danny Trejo’s character is obviously based on him. Check out the video below.

Hysterical right? Well much like the amazing “Shark Pool” this isn’t a real movie. An April release date. A production company named “Amber Lamps” which is another part of the Epic Beard Man meme. Despite the fact this movie would become a cult classic if it was real; I have to say this is just a trailer made for laughs. Part of me is very glad it isn’t real though. The real story of the Epic Beard man is at times sympathetic and at times vile. I’d feel strange seeing a version of him portrayed as a hero to the people considering how racially tense the real story is.

For the record, I'd still pay to see a full length Shark Pool.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Hangover Thursday: Tea Rex

It’s Hangover Thursday, how’s your head? I’m planning to do all my drinking this weekend, so my head is pretty clear this morning. So clear that we aren’t actually talking about alcohol today; instead we are going to talk about tea. Heresy I know. Outside of the occasional Chinese restaurant I don’t really drink tea. I might have two or three cups a year. Today I found something that makes me want to drink tea.

The Tea Rex is currently up for pre-order HERE. This little silicone dinosaur is made so that you can pop his head off and fill him with loose tea. Then you just drop him in your cup of hot water and let him do dinosaur-like things in there. I don’t know, slow lower him into the cup on his chain and imagine he’s actually in a tar pit. “Roar!” The mighty T-Rex struggles but it can’t escape!

Anyway, the little guy will be shipping at the very end of February. If you want a tiny terror in your tea cup it’ll only cost you 14 bucks.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Jim Henson’s The Storyteller

In 1987 television was graced with something unique from Jim Henson, a collection of myths and legends retold using a mixture of live action and some Jim Henson’s Creature Shop magic. Jim Henson’s The StoryTeller had 8 half hour episodes that ran either a specials, a regular show, or as part of The Jim Henson Hour. It even spawned 4 more episodes as The StoryTeller: Greek Myths. The show was amazing. Someone at Archaia Comics felt the same way, because this December they released The StoryTeller graphic hardcover.

The book is good, really good. If you have fond memories of the show, this is a must buy. If you like reading myths and legends, this is a must buy. If you just enjoy a well told story and beautiful art to go along with it, this is a must buy. If you’re tired of all the shakeups in your current superhero comics, buy this book. Do you see where I’m going with all this?

Inside the book there 9 stories from all sorts of sources from Japanese folktales, Aesop fables, all the way to Appalachian folktales. The most exciting is adapted from an unused screenplay from Anthony Minghella, He was credited with the final script on every episode of the StoryTeller, it is incredibly cool to be reading what might have been another episode.

I haven’t really talked about the talented group they found to work on the book. The list of writers and artists are amazing. I just want to toss out a couple of names. When you think Muppet comics you have to think of Roger Langridge and thankfully his story opens the book. Tom Fowler does beautiful work, as does Evan Shaner. Plus you get work by people like Ron Marz, Craig Rousseau, and Katie Cook. I’m leaving out so many talented people that you need to see this for yourself. Seriously, at 20 dollars this book is a steal.  I honestly hope there is already a second book in the works, because I'd like to have a new one every Christmas.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Blog Update

Hey everyone, just a quick update to talk about what is going on behind the scenes. Even though there are still a few more holidays to get through, expect regular updates for the rest of the year. Next week will be a special themed week, so make sure you check back to see what we’re talking about. If all your Christmas cards were full of cash and checks, remember that we still have F’ing Monkey shirts for sale.

Unlike last year there won’t be a major site overhaul for the new year. This weekend Brandon and I are going to be talking about new ways to better the site though. One of those topics will be Podcasts. If you’re interested in listening to us ramble, please let us know. It just might happen. I’m already lining up some convention stuff for next year, so if you like this year’s convention coverage that will hopefully be improving.

Finally I want to say thank you again to everyone who takes the time to stop in and read for a bit. Even more thanks for those who like us on Facebook or comment on the articles.  And if it is possible, I'm even more grateful to those of you who have passed this site on to others.  It has been a great year and I look forward to the next one.

Monday, December 26, 2011


We here at That F'ing Monkey hope that you had a good Christmas yesterday. I was planning on taking today off of the blog, however I randomly ran across something that I had no idea even existed.

"The Year Without a Santa Claus" is a classic Rankin and Bass Christmas special made in 1974.

That is one of the more well known music numbers in the show. And no, Ken and I are not planning on doing those costumes. Well apparently in 2006 someone had the idea to remake the special. In live action. Yep.

So there ya go. See everyone next year.

Friday, December 23, 2011

A Christmas Song For You

CRUDBUMP and Married to the Sea have teamed up to bring you a very special Christmas song.  It is not for sensitive ears, but I thought it was a lot of fun.

With that said, or sung rather, the F'ing Monkey staff is taking tomorrow off to enjoy the holiday with our families.  Brandon will probably be taking Monday off, so check back on Tuesday!  Merry Christmas everyone!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Hangover Thursday: Tom and Jerry

It’s Hangover Thursday, how’s your head? The Christmas season is in full swing so I wanted to talk about a Christmas drink that you might not know about. The Tom and Jerry has been around since 1821, so it is not named after the cartoon cat and mouse. It was created by a writer named Pierce Egan who was trying to promote his book Life in Londo: or The Day and Night Scenes of Jerry Hawthorn Esq. and his Elegant Friend Corinthian Tom and the play Tom and Jerry, or Life in London.

I want to emphasize that for just one moment, to promote his book and play he came up with a brand new drink. It actually became a really popular Christmas drink; obviously it lasted longer than Egan’s fame. It probably helped that he modified the existing Egg Nog recipe that was already popular. So what exactly is in it? Check out the full recipe below.

1 Teaspoon Sugar
1 whole egg yolk
1 whole egg white
1 ounce dark rum
Dash Brandy
Boiling Water

Beat sugar into the yolk.
Then add rum and egg white.
Transfer to coffee mug.
Fill with boiling water.
Add brandy and grated nutmeg

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Fugazi Live Series

Recently I was reading about how different internet sites and services were creating a new uprising in Do It Yourself musicians. Bands that aren’t worried about the big music corporations, ending up in music magazines, or being household names are flourishing right now. That got me thinking about one of the best DIY bands ever, Fugazi. Because of this train of thought I discovered the Fugazi Live Series was just launched this month.

From 1987 to 2003 the band played over 1,000 shows. Over 800 of those shows were recorded by their sound engineers. That is a ton of music. The Fugazi Live Series is restoring that music and making it available HERE. In addition to loading the shows to the internet they are also trying to add any additional material like photos, flyers, etc… to the website. Obviously a project like this is going to take some time, they are starting with 130 shows and will load more as they go.

To download one of the shows is only 5 dollars. There is a preview so you can check out the sound quality before you throw your money down. If you’re a completionist and now have dreams about listening to all 800 shows, you can sign up for their Full Access package. 500 bucks will get you all of the shows. Sure it sounds like a lot, but it would be 4,000 if you paid for each one individually. I’ll be looking forward to seeing the 1993 recording from the Edge in Orlando; I was at that one.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


Star Wars the Old Republic officially launched today, so I’m sure a tidal wave of new players are hitting the servers. Having spent the last couple days jumping onto the game when ever I had some free time, I wanted to share a couple tips that I’ve learned either on other sites or through my own trial and error.

Never sell anything you’ve crafted. You can Reverse Engineer it. You get some materials back and you may also get rare schematics.

You can store you crafting materials in your bank and still use them for crafting.

Shift + Left click is how you split up stacks of items.
/ginvite (name) can be used to send a Guild Invite to a character that is currently online

If your companion was left near death after a combat, dismiss and re-summon them. It is quicker than waiting for them to heal.  Right Click on your compainion's portrait for the menu to dismiss them.

Don't forget to repair your equipment.

You can view comparative data for Companion equipment as well as your own.  It is in the preferences.

AOE looting is in the UI preferences. You’ll no longer have to click on each corpse individually.

In your ability screen there is a power called “Emergency Fleet Pass”. You can use it once a day. It takes you to the Fleet.

When you train for level 10 you get to pick your advance class. Your trainer will have two tabs at the bottom. The first tab contains skills for your basic class; the other tab is for your new advance.

Your experience bar is at the bottom of your screen. The empty bar below your experience bar is for Legacy experience. It won’t do anything until level 30. You can disable it in the preferences.

Logging out in a cantina or on your starship will grant you rested xp when you log back in.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Thunder Busted

As I prep the shop for my pending vacation, I don't have much time today. So enjoy this mash-up.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Chris Pronger’s Season is Over

News broke Thursday that Philadelphia Flyers captain Chris Pronger will not be playing for the rest of the 2011/2012 season. It’s been reported that he is suffering from severe post-concussion syndrome. Things started going downhill for Pronger when he hit in the face with a stick on October 24th. He missed six games and 16 days after that. He did come back to playing, but when you play as physical as he does, you’re going to take a couple smacks to the head. The symptoms persisted and now he is done for the season.

Hockey fans are a loyal and sometimes ruthless bunch. I’ve seen some comments about karma and mentions of how ironic it is for such a dirty player to be injured. He is one of those players that spends a lot of time in the penalty box. I like watching Pronger, I like the way the Flyers play. I like that the Flyers are stepping up without their Captain and still getting the puck in the net. I hope Chris is able to overcome the post-concussion symptoms. Not just because I’d like to see him play again, but because I can’t imagine what it would be like going through life dealing with them.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Flash Friday is Dead!!

Happy Flash Friday everyone! I don’t think it is a surprise to say that although the new Flash series is a quality book I’m not happy with the re-imagining the DC Universe has taken. That disappointment has killed a lot of my enthusiasm for comics. The Flash is still my favorite superhero but I’m not as excited talking about the character in his current state. So I’m taking a couple Fridays off from talking about the Flash. There will still be updates Friday, they'll just be about other things.

This isn’t really the end. Flash Friday will resume in January. I’ve done 75 Flash Fridays; there will be more of them. I just need a week or two where I’m not worrying about what Flashy topic to comment on. I also realize that a massive amount of the site’s traffic comes from the Flash topics, so please remember we do update 6 days a week with lots of other fun stuff.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Hangover Thursday: All Swine's Day Reminder

It’s Hangover Thursday, how’s your head? I had some Winter Lager last night while doing some Christmas shopping but not enough to cause any serious damage. We are in the big holiday rush right now. New Years is just around the corner too. After that is the official holiday of That F’ing Monkey, All Swine's Day.

We invented All Swine's Day last year and I have to say it went fantastically. So today I’m talking about it so that everyone can enjoy the day. It is celebrated on the first Sunday of January. This year it happens to fall on New Year’s Day, but that really was just poor planning on my part. It’s a chance to relax with some friends; one last big meal before worrying about diets and exercise.

The perfect All Swine's Day gathering starts around 2 pm. No need to get up early. While your menu can vary, we went with a breakfast theme. Bacon weaved taco shells, bacon and pan fried potatoes, diced ham and sausage, scrambled eggs, cheese, and sour cream. This year I’ll also be making the F’ing Monkey drink of choice, Everbeer. I’ve already been told a few more people will be celebrating All Swine's outside of the people who are coming to my gathering. If you plan on celebrating, please send us pictures!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Old Republic Early Access

It started this morning, at 7am EST. If you listened hard enough you could hear people hitting refresh on their inbox. That’s when the first of the invite emails for Star Wars the Old Republic were sent out. Exactly how earlier your access was determined by when you entered your pre-order code. So if you immediately jumped when it became available then you probably are already in. I know I ordered around midnight on the first day and got my invite around 11am.

For those who waited, the game will be available to everyone on the 20th. I’m really impressed on how they are handling launch. I’ve been in from the start on a handful of MMOs and I think this is the overall best experience. The fact that I know my Guild is already waiting for me before I even start playing is a huge benefit. The ability to download the game days before launch was even better. Considering both Brandon and I are playing Old Republic you’ll probably be hearing more about the game soon.

Monday, December 12, 2011

They Mostly Come Out On Ice, Mostly.

The original "Alien" is one of my favorite all time flicks, and the sequel "Aliens" is in the top 15 or so. When I ran across the news that some enterprising nerds did a musical version of "Aliens" I had to see it. Then I found that it was musical AND on ice! Oh my.

Yep, that exists. Thanks goes to Topless Robot on this one. You can also hit Youtube and search for "Aliens on ice" and you can see more. And you want to see more.

What nerd properties do you want to see as a crazy ass ice show? How would you go about it? Let Your F'ing Voice Be Heard in the comments or on our facebook page.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

DC Super Hero Legos

The amazing looking DC Superhero Legos are starting to his store shelves. The report I read said they were showing up at Toys R Us, but I’m sure they’ll be on shelves pretty quickly so that everyone can get in on that Christmas spending.

 The traditional mini-fig sized sets come a few different options, most of them are Batman themed though. There is a small Batman/Catwoman set, a Batwing/Joker-Copter set, a Batmobile/Two-Face set, and the incredibly cool looking Lex Luther power armor set. The Lex set also comes with Superman and Wonder Woman. Besides just being cool looking it is automatically my favorite for not being Bat related. We’re also supposed to be getting a new Batcave set, but I don’t think it has been released yet.

There are also a few figures in the Bionicle/Hero Factory scale. Surprise they have a Batman and a Joker! I know, I know, you’re as shocked as I am. The other figures isn’t Superman, it’s Green Lantern. I’m not a huge fan of these. Something about them just looks odd. They look more like giant robots dressed like Batman or Green Lantern. That being said I’ll happily buy the Flash if one comes out.

I doubt I’ll be picking any of these up, but that temptation will be there every time I see them. Why does Lego always want to take all my money?

Friday, December 9, 2011

Flash Friday: Onesies

Happy Flash Friday everyone! Today we’re taking a look at how to show the world that you are a Flash Fan by dressing up your baby! That’s right; we’re looking at Onesies/snap suits/whatever you want to call them.  Think of them as baby Underoos or something.

First up is the uber-detailed Flash costume Onesie. Not only does this one sport the Flash symbol, you also get the lightning belt and a vaguely sculpted chest. I think the belt part is pretty cool, but to be honest the chest definition kind of freaks me out. I think it’d look even stranger on a baby.

Next up is much more to my liking, a simple Flash logo. Besides not having any creepy fake baby muscles it has a larger symbol then the other suit. Sure you lose the belt, but I think it is a better over all look for the fastest baby alive.

Finally we have one that isn’t just Flash-centric. Instead we get Batman, Superman, Green Lantern, and the Flash all represented on toy blocks. Wonder Woman and Aquaman’s symbols are both missing, but I guess the designer wanted a more uncluttered look. At least the Flash was included in this one.

By this point, I know what you’re thinking, Ken, why are you showing us all this baby stuff. Well the That F’ing Monkey family is growing. Patrick O. is still in pre-order status at the moment but is expected to ship sometime in early April. And yes, he will be getting at least one of these fine pieces of geekery.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Hangover Thursday: Slim Pickings Fat Chances

It’s Hangover Thursday, how’s your head? I had a couple Shiner Blacks list night, but my head is still clear this morning. Today we’re going to look at the amazing student film by David de Rooij and Jelle Brunt. Certainly you should check out their website talking about the project HERE. I know what you’re thinking, what does this have to do with booze? Give it a chance and I think it will be apparent pretty quickly.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Games Day 2012 Ticket Unboxing

UPS was busy this morning. As I was leaving for work this morning I found a large box on my doorstep. Usually I seem to be at the end of their delivery day; sometimes I get packages as late as 7pm. Today’s was delivered before 9am. When I saw how big the box was sure my wife had orders another American Girl doll, it’s a big box.

As you can see in the picture, it’s a big box. When I saw Games Workshop on the box I had that thought; this can’t be my Games Day ticket, someone had to have sent me something awesome. Make no mistake, this box contains a ticket. It also helps explain why the shipping was 7 dollars.

Inside the box is…well it’s mostly empty. Lots and lots of packing filler. It is kind of a letdown to open such a large box and only see real contents in the bottom quarter of the box.

Here is the lanyard, a clear ticket holder, and the actual Games Day ticket. I have to say, sending an actual Games Workshop lanyard is nice. Most companies would just send you the ticket and let you purchase one of their lanyards when you were at the convention.

There was still more in the box though! I can tell you that the box in the picture above does not contain a “New Tank” even though it says so. This box was folded flat and tapped down. That’s a shame really, my army could really use a tank or three.

Inside that protective cardboard was actually a matted 8.5”x11” print of a Grey Knight. The print is limited to the first 500 people who ordered a Games Day ticket. I am not sure if they are still available or not. And that’s it for the unboxing.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, That F’ing Monkey will be going to Games Day North America in July. That means it’ll get our normal convention coverage. So expect more information on that as we get closer to July.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

NHL Realignment

Since the Winnipeg Jets moved from Atlanta the NHL has been rife with talk about how it would have to re-structure. Teams like the Blue Jackets and the Red Wings have been complaining for years about the amount of travel they have to do because of their conference placement. Yesterday new broke and we finally got details of the NHL’s realignment. The four conferences haven’t been named yet but this is how they have been broken down.

1: New Jersey, Philadelphia, New York Rangers, New York Islanders, Washington, and Carolina
2: Boston, Montreal, Toronto, Ottawa, Buffalo, Florida, and Tampa Bay
3: Detroit, Columbus, Nashville, St. Louis, Chicago, Minnesota, Dallas, and Winnipeg
4: Los Angeles, Anaheim, Phoenix, San Jose, Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, Colorado

The top four teams in each conference will all go to the playoffs. In addition to that the first two rounds of the playoffs will be within the same conference. So check what teams are in our favorite team’s conference; you’re going to be seeing them a lot next season. It is also planned to have each team play every team in the league once at home and once away. This is huge for transplanted fans who might not get to see their favorite team every year.

While there are good things about the realignment, it isn’t perfect. Tampa and Florida look pretty out of place in their division. In fact I’d say they get pretty screwed by it. The new division may also hurt some long standing rivalries. The other thing to consider here is I highly doubt there will be a Phoenix Coyotes for very much longer. What happens if they end up somewhere far away from the West Coast?

How do you feel about the changes? How is it going to affect your favorite team?

Monday, December 5, 2011

Smile, You Son Of A Bitch!

So Universal had announced that they are closing the "Jaws" ride at Universal Orlando effective on January 2, 2012. This news makes me very sad. I have a personal connection with this ride, as when I first moved to Orlando I was a skipper on said ride. It was a fantastic experience and I had a blast shooting that shark 50 times a day. Pun intended.

As it happens, Ken was on my boat at one point and I used his name for the skipper on the sunken boat in my act. I thought it was clever, leave me alone. So as "Jaws" goes the way of the "Ghostbusters" stage show and "King Kong" lets hope that they don't replace it with another boring thing like "Twister", damn that attraction sucks. So everyone remember to keep your hands and feet inside the boat at all times.

I never had to wear that stupid hat, just in case you were wondering. Also as we are talking about one of the best movies ever, this made me chuckle. Thanks to Steve Niles for finding this gem.

So folks how do you feel about this news? Ever been on the ride? As always Let Your F'ing Voice Be Heard in the comments or on our facebook page. "Farewell and adieu to you, Spanish Ladies..."

Saturday, December 3, 2011

F’ing Monkey Hockey Talk

This year’s season is in full swing and we’ve been pretty quiet about it. It wasn’t intentional, it just happened that way. It has been a pretty interesting start. So far we’ve seen the return of the Winnipeg Jets. The return of Sidney Crosby. The day after Thanksgiving we got the earliest televised game on a major network. On January 2nd the Flyers will be hosting the Rangers in the always entertaining Winter Classic. The big rumor going round is that next year’s Winter Classic will be at Michigan Stadium. If that is the case I’ll be getting my airplane tickets up to Detroit soon.

When we get closer to the playoffs That F’ing Monkey will be hosting another beard challenge. There is no prize of course, but we may be looking into doing some charity work. Obviously we are a ways off from the playoffs, but if you’re interested in participating this year please let us know. All it would require is shaving clean a week before the end of the season and sending us pictures at the start of each round. Besides I’m sure everyone wants to see more faces then mine and Brandon’s.

So how has the season been for you so far?

Friday, December 2, 2011

Flash Friday: Salamander Smackdown

Happy Flash Friday everyone! Today we’re talking about Salamander Smackdown. Much like yesterday’s article, even though the name would lead you to believe otherwise, this is not about my Warhammer 40K Salamander army. Instead today’s article is about a book in the DC Super-Pets line names Salamander Smackdown.

The book actually came out in August; somehow it slipped under my radar. Apparently I’m not studying the book releases in the 7 and up category closely enough. Here is the absolutely amazing description of the book:

The Terrific Whatzit, pet turtle of The Flash, loves to show off his speedy skills! He normally lives as his alter ego, Merton McSnurtle, but when danger rears its ugly head, he becomes the fastest turtle on Earth – the Terrific Whatzit! However, not all of the pets in Central City love Whatzit – in fact, two cyborg newts dream of being the pets of someone else – the Super Villain and the Flash’s nemesis – Professor Zoom! These two newts, X-43 and Bit-Bit so want to impress Professor Zoom that they hitch a ride out of the pet store and set out to make Professor Zoom’s evil robot come to life. Can two newts make a broken down, evil robot work again to bring grief and misery to Central City and will the Terrific Whatzit be able to stop this unbelievably powerful robot before it destroys everything?

Salamander Smack Down is written by John Sazaklis with art by Art Baltazar. I don’t have this book in my hands yet, I really did just stumbled upon it. Even though it is a kid’s book, I’m excited because I love DC’s speedster turtles. For years I’ve wanted a Russian Tortoise of my own to call Whatzit. Anyway, expect a full review when I get my hands on the book.

And just because he is awesome, one more picture of Whatzit.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Hangover Thursday: Beer Hammer

It’s Hangover Thursday, how’s your head? The temperature is dropping in Orlando, making it the perfect time to start looking at Imperial Stouts. Of course I’m usually ready for a good stout any time of the year, but they become more readily available during the winter. For those of us who aren’t covered in snow, the cooler temperature also makes it the perfect time get around to some of that work outside we put off in the summer. That’s why we’re talking about Beer Hammer.

Normally when I hear Beer Hammer I think about playing Warhammer and drinking beer. That isn’t the case today though, we’re talking about a hammer with a built in bottle opener. It’s an easy scenario to imagine. You’re outside or in the garage hard at work, maybe you have a cooler nearby. It might not be hot outside, but you are working so you’ve gotten yourself a little parched. You pop open the cooler and realize the beer you bought needs an opener. With this hammer, you’re never without a bottle opener.

Okay, in all seriousness there isn’t much to say about a hammer that has a built in bottle opener. Leave it in your tool box and you’ll always have easy access to your favorite beer when in the garage or working in the yard. If you’re interested in owning one, I first found the hammer at Think Geek, but some Google-Fu will take you to some stores that have it even cheaper.


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