Top 10 Giant Robots

Last week Michael May and Siskoid ran a top 10 list of his their top 10 giant monsters.   One  of the rules when creating this top ten is that robots aren’t monsters and would require their own top 10 list.  Just like last week I had to get in on the action, so today we’re going to be talking giant robots.  We are also including mecha into this list, figuring that giant machines controlled by pilots are going to be close enough to robots that it will still count.  Make sure you check out Michael’s AdventureBlog today for a list of other blogs participating in today’s robot countdown. 

10. Voltron

I was going to use the Vehicle version of Voltron just to enrage a friend of mine, but the majority of people who recognize the name Voltron immediately think of the lion version when they hear that name.  There is a good reason for that to, the Lion Force robot is extremely cool looking.  So you’re asking if Voltron is iconic and has such a great design why is he only number 10 on the list?  It’s because watching a Voltron cartoon is excruciatingly boring.  All the archetypes are there, but nothing interesting is ever done with it.  That makes it even worse, it has such potental to be amazing and it's just bland.  I’m including all the re-launches in that statement too. 

9. Emperor Titans (Warhammer 40K)

No setting in existence does over the top better than the Warhammer 40K universe.  The armies of man have giant war machines called Titans, the largest of these are the Emperor Titans.  Standing 166 feet tall the Emperor Titan towers over everything else on the battle field.  As you’d expect the Titan is loaded down with weapons with equally over the top names like Hellstorm Cannons, Apocalypse Missle Launcher’s, and Vulcan Mega Bolters.  I almost forgot to mention that it carries a cathedral dedicated to the God-Emperor on its shoulders.  It's a massive warmachine and a walking church. 

8. Liberty Prime (Fallout 3)

If you remember the Journey of Thall Faceshooter you know I had a great time playing through Fallout 3.  There are some issues with the setting of the game when compared to the rest of the series; some of the lore just doesn’t fit as well.  Liberty Prime though is awesome.  Originally built to liberate Anchorage, Alaska from the Red Chinese this robot was dug up by the Brotherhood of Steel.  Liberty Prime eventually is set upon the Enclave and causes massive destruction by shooting dual energy beams from his head and throwing mini-nukes like footballs.  All the time he’s wrecking face he says things like “Communism is the very definition of failure,” and “Democracy is non-negotiable.”

7. Volfogg (GaoGaiGar)

One of the Super-AI robots in the GGG is the definition of cool.  His vehicle form is a police Ferrari and his robot form is pretty much a ninja.  He carries tow Silver Moon throwing blades that can be combined to form a giant throwing star known as the Silver Cross.  He is also equipped to create holograms, create smoke screens, and to use his Mirror Coating to turn invisible.  When he needs a power upgrade he can join with a non intelligent motorcycle and helicopter to form Big Volfogg.  He looks significantly less ninja-like when it Big Volfogg mode though.

6.  Lockdown (Transformers)

Transformers Animated introduced one of the coolest Transformers of all time.  It’s heavily implied that this faction-less bounty hunter was once an Autobot.  Lockdown has a habit of collecting trophies from his prey, usually it’s a weapon or upgrade that he can use for himself.  This is how he came to own Ratchet’s EMP generator.  Lockdown’s alt form is a nasty spiked racecar with an exposed engine block and a cow-catcher on the bumper.  Oh and in the cartoon he is voiced my Lance Henricksen. 

5. Megas XLR

With a theme song that told the world that “Chicks dig giant robots,” it was obvious that Megas XLR was going to be different than most cartoons.  Produced by Titmouse, Inc, Megas XLR only lasted one season (just like their amazing cartoon Motorcity).  In the future the Earth is losing a war with an alien race called the Glorft. The humans steal a prototype giant robot and modify for our use.  Megas and its pilot Kiva are going to be sent into the past hoping they can stop the invasion.  All sorts of craziness happens.  Megas is damaged and sent to the wrong time.  The damaged Megas is found in present day by Coop , who repairs the robot and replaces the damaged head with a muscle car.  He calls the robot XLR.  Kiva finds Megas but is unable to pilot it anymore because of Coop’s modifications.  Megas XLR makes fun of every giant robot trope in existence and then moves on to anime tropes in general.  The series was smart and funny as all hell. 

4. Iron Giant

Iron Giant is the best Superman movie ever made.  If you haven’t seen it you should stop reading right now and go see it.  Nothing else really needs to be said about it.

3. Veritech (Macross/Robotech)

The VF-1 Valkyrie is a classic.  It goes from from jet mode, to guardian more, to battloid.  There are numerous different versions just in the first series alone.  The design has been copied across all different sorts of media.  Roy Focker’s Veritech looks the best of course.  The black and yellow scheme stand out on the white body and the skull squadron symbol just makes the whole thing look cool.  The Robotech cartoon had a huge impact on me when I was a kid and this design will be with me forever.

2. Springer (Transformers)

I’ve talked numerous times about Springer on That F’ing Monkey.  My all time favorite Transformer.  In the cartoon he was a sarcastic asshole who got shit done.  In the comics he’s the lead of the Wreckers.  Springer is named because he’s legs are so powerful that he is able to leap across battlefields.  Considering he also turns into a helicopter you wouldn’t think that would be an issue.  He goes from sports car, to helicopter, to bad ass.  This triple changer first debuted in the Transformers movie and I’ve been obsessed with him ever since.

1. GaoGaiGar

GaoGaiGar could be placed on the top of this list for his theme song alone.  For those unfamiliar with this awesomeness let me explain what it takes to transform into GaoGaiGar.  A cyborg leaps into a giant robot lion's mouth.  This causes the lion to transform into the robot GaiGar.  That robot is then joined by a drill tank, a bullet train, and a stealth fighter.  All four of these machines then take on the form of GaoGairGar.  You want a giant robot anime that takes it over the top?  This is it.  GaoGaiGar protects the world from the Zonder threat and while I had just mentioned his basic transformation as the series went on he was outfitted with more equipment to battle the aliens.  The most famous is probably his Goldion Hammer, a gigantic hammer that contains an artificial gravity well.  Another robot had to be introduced so it could turn into an arm attachment strong enough to even hold the hammer.  Most of the foes GaoGaiGar faces end up be completely disintegrated.  There is a reason GaoGaiGar is the King of the Braves. 

Fallout Lego

In the past few weeks I’ve talked a lot about Fallout. I’m always willing to talk about Lego. If you spend a lot of time looking at Lego sites, you’ve probably seen Saber-Scorpion’s Lair. Justin has done a bunch of different properties and turned them into Lego minfigs and sets. I think I first found his site when I was looking for Mass Effect sites. Today is all about Fallout.

One of the great things about the Saber-Scorpion pictures is all the custom pieces. The stickers used to make things like the Medkits and Tunnel Snake jacket are actually available on Saber-Scorpion’s website. I won’t like, I’m pretty tempted by the Tunnel Snake jacket. The guns come from Brickarms, Brickforge, and Brickwarriors. I’ve had Brickarms and Brickforge bookmarked on my home computer for a long time, they make fantastic accessories for Lego minifigs.

Obviously you can’t buy this awesome street scene, but it is fun to look at. I think the Raiders are particularly well done. The strange weapons, the piecemeal armor, and the crazy hair just scream Raiders. Considering right now I’m spending the majority of my time in Fallout searching for the Vault-Boy Bobble heads I really appreciate the one sitting on the computer desk.

You can’t have Fallout without the Brotherhood of Steel can you? Check out Saber-Scorpion’s page for even more pictures of his awesome Fallout scene. Poke around the rest of the site too, you’re bound to find more of your favorites turned into Lego.

The Journey of Thall Faceshooter, Part 3

This will probably be the last update of Thall Faceshooter’s adventures. In the time since the last update he has managed to bring clean water to the Capital Wasteland. There are still things for me to do in game, including three of the DLCs, but I think today’s update will wrap up Thall’s story pretty well.

I picked up Lincoln’s old rifle. Not only does it still work, it’s fantastically accurate. Despite the temptation to wear it around the wasteland, I sold his top hat to a historian.

Using my VATS targeting system I can shoot grenades out of the air. I’m a god now.

I broke into a vault full of virtual reality machines. When I sat down into the chair there I leveled up. I leveled up by sitting in a chair.

Tunnel Snakes, Reily’s Rangers, Regulators, and the Brotherhood of Steel. Apparently I’m a joiner.

Killing slavers is hard work, so I stopped in their armory. In the basement is a bed, so I took an hour nap. Feeling refreshed I came back out to kill some more. I took a bit more damage than I had wanted, so I went back in the armor and took another nap. The slavers were very patient and waited for me each time.

In another virtual reality machine I’m commanding US troops in Alaska. I pick snipers to help me out on a mission. They charge the enemy. My sniper team charged the enemy!

After the Alaska simulation I get a stealth suit that turns me into a Predator. Like the alien that Arnold fought, not the guy who hangs out in vans with no windows. The armor is awesome. Despite covering me head to toe, the first thing I do is put on my cowboy hat. Daft Punk Cowboy, yee haw.

There is a house next to a grave yard; kind of creepy. The house has a basement; extremely creepy.

While exploring the creepy house a man surprises me by quickly coming around a corner. It surprises me and I react by shooting him in the face with a Chinese assault rifle. He had an eye patch, so we’re just going to assume he was evil.

I’m trying to be a good guy and the game has to go and send me to a city full of annoying kids. You can’t shoot them. I debated leaving the place full of land mines anyway.

I just shot the head off a Raider who had the exact same face/hair style as me. It was a Skywalker moment.

Headed to Pittsburgh to kill some slavers, I’m disappointed by the lack of Primanti Bros.

So stripping the “Slave Rags” off of a slave actually leaves them wearing more clothes than they started with.

There are lots of catwalks in the Pitt. Watching a bullet fly in slow motion across the open steelyard, pass between other girders, and finally split a Trog’s head in two is pretty awesome.

Found a dead guy laying on two unopened medkits. He almost made it.

Oh yeah along the way I restored clean drinking water to the area and took out the main group of bad guys.  I guess that is important too.

Butcher Pete

The soundtrack to Fallout 3 is pretty amazing, but the song “Butcher Pete” made me immediately stop playing and listen to the entire thing. I had heard of Roy Brown before but I had never heard him sing “Butcher Pete.” I was enthralled by it. It was stuck in my head for days. In Fallout 3 the song mentions there is more to the story/song, but GNR doesn’t play it. I had to look for both parts. I needed to hear the full song.

Here are both parts of “Butcher Pete”. The other strange thing about the songs is that the more I listened to it, the more I was sure that I had heard it before.

The Cramps actually covered it in 2003. Now I’m a big fan of the Cramps. I liked their version of the song, but now that I’ve heard Roy Brown’s version, the cover just pales in comparison. Still it is an interesting take on the song.

The Journey of Thall Faceshooter, Part 2

I’ve been buried in overtime this week, but somehow I still managed to put some time in to playing Fallout 3. Thall continues to search for his father and has become a bit of a white knight; except for that whole shooting people in the face thing. What follows are my notes and thoughts on what was happening. If you’re like me and it took you 4 years to get around to playing Fallout 3 there are some spoilers below.

Searching for a group of wanna be vampires called the Family. When I find the man they have guarding the entrance he quickly threatens me, opens the gate so I can come in, and then wanders over to a cot and falls asleep.

If only I was taking video, I could have started a new internet phenomenon: 3 vicious dogs, 1 grenade.

Killing raiders with a grenade only to find a brand new grenade on them when you loot the body; it feels pretty good.

Can you tell I like grenades?

I spend a lot of time in bars.  It's kind of like real life.

I walked out of a door only to have a mercenary group attack me for doing good deeds. Didn’t they realize all my good deeds involved shooting people in the face? So I shot them in the face.

Found a robot on the toilet. Apparently he’s finished because his status shows as empty.

In the robot factory I reprogrammed the robots to destroy all the giant mole rats and rad-roaches. I forgot to tell the robots not to attack me. Ouch.

Saw a caravan trader. He ran like crazy with his guard running after him. Finally caught up to him and he was happy to trade. It was like he totally forgot about running around like a chicken with its head cut off for 5 minutes.

I found a building full of Super Mutants. I snipe one of the second floor. I start ambushing the rest with my trusty combat shotgun. Eight more Super Mutants lose their faces. The ninth is up on the second floor yelling about how I’m scared. I tried to be intimidated, but standing knee deep in dead Super Mutant made me feel like a bad ass.

I meet the radio DJ 3 Dog. Unlike most current day DJs 3 Dog doesn’t look fat, balding, or far older than he sounds on the radio. I find this the most unrealistic thing in the game.

Two get to 3 Dog I had to cross a plaza where Super Mutants and the Brotherhood of Steel are fighting. I lay a trap. Landmines are set up, I snipe one Super Mutant, and the whole group come running for me. The four landmines blow up, I throw a grenade into the mix, and only body parts are left. Later 3 Dog tells me that the Brotherhood saved my skin out there. He doesn’t know how close he came to a face shooting.

I come back home to Megaton city to sell some stuff and stretch out on my bed. An adoring town’s person runs up to hand me some snack cakes to thank me for doing what I do (face shooting evil). I accept the cakes…and I’m over encumbered. Fuck.

The Journey of Thall Faceshooter, Part 1

We’re going to try something a little different here at That F’ing Monkey. Fallout 3 was released in 2008 to rave reviews. Even though I wanted to, I never got around to playing it. Luckily for me I wound up in a situation where I have some free time and a shortage of money for video games. Luckily Fallout’s Game of the Year edition contains all of the games DLC and only cost 20 dollars. I’m going to be discussing my play through below, so there are spoilers for a 4 year old game below. You’ve been warned.

The game starts with your birth and then you’re dropped into the character creator. I spend a lot of time in character creators and this one was no different. When I got to hair styles I saw one that struck an old memory. Suddenly my whole idea for playing had changed. I had to go back and start the character creator over but I was going to play the Fallout version of Thall Joben. Thall was a character from the old Star Wars Droids cartoon.

Day One of Playing:

Took the GOAT (General Occupational Aptitude Test) and got placed as the Vault’s tattoo artist! I actually got this result without looking at a guide. I was pretty psyched.

Hmm. I don’t think I can actually get tattoos. I suddenly want a mini-game where I ink people. None of that happens.

Guards are after me. I turn the corner to see a guard getting attacked by rad-roaches. Trying to be heroic I shoot the rad roaches out of the air. Even after saving his life, the guard comes after me.

Still trying to be the good guy, I want to disable the guard not kill him. I put a bullet in each leg. He dies anyway. From now on I’ll just shoot them in the face.

Escaped the Vault, headed to the first town.

Shady wants me to blow up the town. I tell the sheriff and the sheriff confronts Shady. Shady shoots the sheriff in the back. I shoot Shady 7 times in the face before he dies. Holy fuck bullets either got really weak in the future or people’s skulls got really dense.

The sheriff’s kid runs in and tells me he’ll still pay me if I disarm the bomb in town. He doesn’t seem to care that I’m wearing his dad’s duster and cowboy hat. He also doesn’t seem to care that his dad is lying on the floor dead, wearing nothing but boxer shorts.

After playing for a couple of hours I finally figured out how to turn on my flashlight. Fuck.

Day Two of Playing:

Met with Crazy. She wants me to go to the supermarket. There are ghouls hanging out in front of the place. My first instinct is to shoot them in the face. Instead we talk around their hobo fire for a few minutes. Once inside the supermarket I shoot a bunch of Raiders in their faces.

Back in town I have some money finally. Meet the local prostitute. I consider her services, but she would pretty much cost me half of my savings. Maybe I’ll put a little aside after each mission A layway for a lay, it seems appropriate.

Crazy sends me out into a mine field. Ran into some more Raiders. Shot them in the face.

Beep beep beep booom! Oh god my arm is crippled! Found the mine field.

Slept in an abandoned house after looting it. The owners’ skeletons are in there, they’ve been long dead. There is a dead Raider in the living room though. He looks fresh. No idea what killed him. Slept in the house anyway, it was creepy as fuck though.

Gave Crazy a landmine I got out of the supermarket and told her it came from the minefield. Fuck her.

That’s it for the first two nights I got to sit down with the game. There may be more adventures of Thall Faceshooter next week.