Thursday, May 31, 2012

Nicklas Lidstrom

Today at 11am, Nicklas Lidstrom announced his retirement. Lidstrom spent 20 seasons playing for the Detroit Red Wings and will go down as one of the best defense men the NHL has ever seen. 4 Stanley Cups and 7 time Norris Trophy winner. I’m sad, really sad. He spent all of his 20 seasons with the Detroit Red Wings. 20 years with one team, even if he wasn’t a amazing player that would be something to be respected.

A lot of people won’t remember it, but the Red Wings weren’t always the power house they’ve been for the past 20 years. Between 67 and 82 they were so bad people called them the Dead Wings. I remember watching games with Yzerman, Lidstrom, and Federov. I knew they were amazing, but I didn’t really appreciate how amazing they were at the time.

I’m not pompous enough to think that Lidstrom or anyone else in the Red Wings will ever read this; but I still want to say thank you to Nicklas Lidstrom. Thank you for 20 years. Thank you for 4 Stanley Cups. Just thank you.  Enjoy your retirement Mr. Lidstrom, you deserve it.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Thoughts on 2 Years

Yesterday was the two year anniversary of That F’ing Monkey. My post about it was pretty short, but it still managed to be longer than the site’s first post. A lot of the first year was a hot mess, there are still things that I’m proud I wrote; but it took awhile for me to get comfortable with the format. I think our second year was much better handled. At times I’d say we almost look professional.

When I started everything, I was only updating Tuesday through Saturday. It wasn’t until Brandon joined that we moved to a Monday through Saturday posting schedule. Still we’ve put up some pretty good numbers, today is our 581st post. That’s even more impressive when I started the whole thing as a writing exercise and I wasn’t sure that I’d even keep it up for a month.

The first time I really felt like I wasn’t talking to myself was after Shark Week and I wrote about copepods. The site is still getting traffic because of that. It is the fifth most visited article on That F’ing Monkey. The day after writing it, I wrote about Blacksad. That is the fourth most viewed page on the site. I was on fire in August of 2010. The third most viewed post is about Harry Potter, but I really think that is just because of image searches for Mad Eye Moody. Diablo 3 Beta Access is the second most viewed, although now that the game is out that will start to drop. The most viewed article on the site? Flash Friday: Angry Birds in Space. I’m as surprised as you are.

I’m probably most proud of the movie articles that were written for when I was away. Beside the awesome Michael May stepping in for us, I thought the stuff Brandon and I were putting out was a step above our normal day to day posts. I was also really proud of the interviews that came out of Heroes. Heck, I’m proud that the people who read the site is slowly increasing every month. So here is to the next year, may it be even better than the last.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

2 Years of That F'ing Monkey

Today marks the two year anniversary of That F’ing Monkey.  I have a lot to say about the past two years, but I’m putting that off for tomorrow. 

I had the day off today, so I got to spend it with my wife and son.  I do want to thank everyone who comes here regularly.  It doesn’t matter if you come here daily, weekly, or once a month; I appreciate any time you spend here.  Because if it wasn’t for you, I’d just be talking to myself.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Voice Star Wars

I am a huge fan of voice actors. I think the ability to perform using only your vocal chords and make one laugh or cry (Jurassic Bark I am looking at you through tear filled eyes). I had the great fortune to interview my share of voice actors when I used to work on a radio nerd show - The Sci-Fi Zone - many moons ago. They were all a delight to chat with, more so than some of the on-camera folks we talked to.  I even bought Mark Hamill's "Comic Book - The Movie" just because it stars voice actors. 

Yeah I am an unapologetic fanboy.

So when I ran across this slice of nerdvana I was an ecstatic geek. Yes it is over an hour long and well worth every second. However if you don't have that much time to kill then just watch from the 4:44 to the 9:03 marks. It is well worth your time.

So do you have any sweet voice actor stories you want to share? How about your favorite cartoon character? Let Your F'ing Voice Be Heard in the comments, our Facebook page, or the Contact Us button.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Lego Monster Hunters

I have a confession to make, I am an addict. Every time I walk by a toy isle I get the itch. I need Lego. The building sets, the mini-figs, I love everything about them. It is really hard for me not to buy stacks of them. Years and years ago an online toy retailer was going out of business and had a crazy sale on everything. They were so cheap; I had 6 Lego X-Wings. I’ve got things under control now and usually only pick up one set a year. It is going to be even harder to resist the urge now that Lego is bringing out Monster Hunters.

How fun does that look? Classic horror archetypes, a little steam punk, monsters, and the awesomeness of Lego. I’m not thrilled with how their Swamp Creature turned out, but he fights an airboat driving, rockabilly gunfighter. The Vampire Hearse may be too cool to pass up. Hopefully these sell well that we get a cartoon out of it, the concept destroys Ninjago.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Flash Friday: Action League

Happy Flash Friday everyone! I’ve been meaning to talk about today’s topic for a while now, but Peterson gave me a much needed kick in the ass last week! This week I have two sets of Action League figures to talk about. I was actually been keeping them in package until I was ready to take pictures, so last night was some box ripping fun. The two sets are a Flash/Zoom and the Flashpoint Flash/Citizen Cold. For the rest of the article I’ll be calling him Captain Cold, I don’t think there is any need to dwell on the Flashpoint part.

I’ve already talked about how much I love the Action League line. The first Flash has never left my desk, unless I’m taking pictures of him punching things. The think I don’t like is how inconsistent the line is. I found the Flash/Zoom line randomly in a Toys R Us one day long after the line was supposed to be launched. For the Flash/Cold set I broke down and picked it up off eBay.

The new figures in the line are much like the ones that came before them. They turn at the neck and waist and at the shoulders. They are stylistically posed, so even though you can move the arms there may not be many poses that you can put to figure in. How stable the figure is also depends on the pose. The “running Flash” sculpt actually comes with a figure stand, I wish the Captain Cold did.

In the Zoom/Flash set we have a brand new Flash sculpt. Flash comes with a tornado accessory that slides over his fist. The Professor Zoom uses the original Flash sculpt, the one I like to call “running Flash.” The back of the box had a strange background blurb. “A longstanding enemy of the Flash, Professor Zoom fulfilled a prophecy when he saved his foe from the Speed Force.” I’d have put something easy for the kids to understand like, “Professor Zoom is from the far future and travels back in time to battle the Flash.”

The Cold/Flash set also uses the “running Flash” sculpt. This time he is made out of a translucent red plastic to better signify…yeah I don’t know. Maybe he’s vibrating his molecules really quickly? I have no idea. Someone probably thought it looked ‘kewl.” Captain Cold is a new sculpt though. The ice shooting from his gun is not removable, so getting him to stand can be a balancing act until you get his pose just right. That is a minor complaint though, the figure looks great.

Not everyone likes the Action League line. I personally love them. I want more Flash sets. I don’t know that I want any more of the “running Flash” pose. When three of the figures in the display have the exact same sculpt it starts to show. Again, this is a very small gripe though. If each set with a newly sculpted Flash villain and another “running Flash” I’d still buy them.

If you include the Action League figures from the Batman Brave and the Bold show Flash starts to have a pretty formidable group of enemies. I know not all the characters in the group shot would normally work together, they still look good together. Besides, we still need to be impressed they actually made a Top figure. Now we just need Mirror Master, Weather Wizard, Trickster, Piper, etc…

I think the strangest thing about the two Flash sculpts is how different the heads are. The “running Flash” head is rounder and thicker. The “tornado Flash” has a longer, thinner head. If you have to call one Barry and one Wally, it would be very easy to call them two different characters.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Hangover Thursday: Drink to Hawaii

It’s Hangover Thursday, how’s your head? There is a dull throb behind my eyes right now, thanks to a couple of different beers from Cigar City Brewing. Their Imperial brown ale, Improv is one to look for. Their black lager, Liegero is also fantastic. Sadly that is draft only, so you can’t take a six pack of that one home with you. I don’t know where you are, but in Florida it certainly feels like summer. Because of that I want to share a song for all those people whose dreams are bigger than their bank accounts.

Johnny Aloha is the tiki music alter-ego of lounge singer supreme Richard Cheese. It should be noted that Richard’s newest CD, “Back in Black Tie” will be out in August. Most of the songs on Johhny Aloha’s CD are “Tiki-ed” covers of popular songs. “Drink to Hawaii” is an original though and I think it is the best song on the album. Cheers.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Because That F’ing Monkey Loves You: Resident Evil 6 Demo

I picked up Dragon’s Dogma last night. The game is currently getting very mixed reviews. I haven’t had a chance to play much of it, but I’m loving what I have seen so far. The combat is challenging and surprising. Inside my copy of the game is early access to the Resident Evil 6 Demo. I haven’t cared for the Resident Evil series in a very long time. If you like Resident Evil and didn’t feel like playing another game about killing dragons you may be in luck.

I have a single code for the Demo. If you can’t wait to shoot zombies then you should click on the “Contact Us” button on the right hand side of the website. Just send me an email requesting the Resident Evil code and it is yours. First come, first served. I believe this is an Xbox only code, so if you’re rocking a PS3 I don’t think it will do you any good. I’ll update this message as soon as the code has been given away.

Give Away Status: And like that, the code is gone.  Enjoy Dan.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

X-Wing: Mercy Kill

There are a large number of Star Wars novels out there, so many in fact that to keep track of what comes from the movies and what comes from other sources you’ll see mention of things coming from Star Wars EU (Expanded Universe). For the most part, I don’t really like Star Wars fiction. I prefer the Rebellion Era and the time set in its aftermath, you start getting into the next alien invasion and I’m done. Unfortunately even in that very specific time period, you get authors who believe that a character has to be a Jedi to be worthwhile. The X-Wing series was the exact opposite of that.

The X-Wing books started with Rogue Squadron books written by Michael Stackpole. These are fantastic books. Then the X-Wing series moves on to the Wraith Squadron series written by Aaron Allston. Without question The Wraith Squadron books are my favorite Star Wars novels, I can’t recommend them enough. Because of that I’m thrilled to hear that Aaron Allston has returned with another Wraith Squadron book.

Mercy Kill is set to be released on August 7th. The preview blurbs say that it will be set 30 years after Wraith Squadron carried out their last message. I’m sure we’ll get some old characters back and they’ll have a handful of new troublemakers to help them out. Even the previews talk about how they’ll become thieves, pirates, imposters, forgers, and targets. With Allston writing we’re almost guaranteed crazy schemes and incredible characters. With this coming out a day before my birthday, I’m just going to assume it was written for me.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Potter Fix

Has it been too long since you have gotten your Harry Potter fix? Do you need some magic in your life? Well look no farther than this fan film with surprisingly good production value. Sure it has a couple of action movie tropes sprinkled thought out, but what ya gonna do? (Just a quick warning, if you click on that there tropes link you will lose a few hours of your life.)

That still not gotten your pensive flowing? Well if you have not checked out Pottermore, then it is in an open beta and you can get right in there. I just got sorted into Slytherin. I would like to think of myself as a Ravenclaw, but in reality I feel that Pottermore got it right.

On a real life note, my posts have been quite sporadic as of late. This is partly due to living in the middle of nowhere with nothing except tabletop gaming to get the imagination and creative juices flowing. And I know you guys don't want to constantly hear about my toy soldiers. However I am going to be working on that and will try to have something interesting (your mileage may vary) every week for you to kill a few minutes at work.

Anywho, have you joined Pottermore already and want to brag about the size of your wand? (13 inch inflexible pine with a phoenix feather core) Let Your F'ing Voice Be Heard in the comments, our Facebook, or spam the Contact Us button on the side panel.

Saturday, May 19, 2012


It’s time for more movie trailers! And it is another shark movie! Bait has the main characters trapped in a supermarket when a tsunami hits the area. So then the characters are trapped in a flooded supermarket. No word yet if they movie got the rights to use the Clash’s “Lost in the Supermarket.” With the area now full of water there is only one thing that can logically happen; a shark swims into the supermarket. Seems like a perfect place to swim when you’re hungry.

The details are still pretty iffy on the release date, but it looks like it will be sometime in September. There is a scene in the trailer that is very reminiscent of a scene in the movie Deep Star Six, which I loved as a kid. Needless to say I’m on board with this one; I can’t wait till it comes out.

And if the thought of sharks swimming around town during a flood sounds farfetched, check out the Carbrook Golf Club in Brisbane. At their 14th tee they have six bull sharks swimming around in one of their water hazards. The sharks have been there for years, in the early 90s the Logan river had flooded and the sharks found themselves stranded after the water receded. The sharks are actually breeding in the lake and the golf course has thoroughly embraced having them around.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Flash Friday: Flash Cereal

Happy Flash Friday everyone! Recently I started thinking about 80s cereals for some reason. I don’t really know why; it wasn’t morning, I wasn’t eating cereal at the time. During the 80s it seemed like every cartoon and big kids property ended up with its own cereal. C3POs is a pretty well known one. I still miss the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle cereal. It was then that I thought to myself there should have been a Flash cereal.

It will come as no surprise to anyone that Batman has had multiple cereals. The first cereal based on his movie was absolutely bland. Tiny, mostly flavorless bat shapes the consistence of Cap’n Crunch. Batman Returns was marshmallows and chex-type squares. The last Batman cereal I know about was based on The Batman cartoon; cocoa cereal with marshmallows. At least it started looking dark near the end.

Batman wasn’t alone thought. Superman even got his own limited edition of Cap’n Crunch with Superman Crunch. They had the superpower of turning the milk blue. I’ve never really thought of that as a selling point, I had two bowls of Boo Berry this morning that did the exact same thing. Yes, I’ve hoarded so much Boo Berry that I still have a couple boxes left.

So what would Flash cereal be? You certainly can’t turn milk red; that would be a very bad thing. At first I was thinking you could have cereal lightning bolts and marshmallows to represent the Rogues weapons. That doesn’t really work. Weather Wizard’s wand would just like a long thin marshmallow and all the guns would probably just look like blobs. That and I doubt any parent is going to be buying cereal full of marshmallow guns. I think the best would be cinnamon flavored circles and marshmallow lightning bolts.  Every spoonfull would form little Flash symbols.

I have no idea why I just spent all morning (badly) photoshopping a fake cereal box. There may be something seriously wrong with me.  Anyway, have a great weekend everyone!

Thursday, May 17, 2012


I know it is supposed to be Hangover Thursday, but I’m skipping a week because it is very important that I talk about Bearmageddon today. At this point I shouldn’t have to tell you about Ethan and Malachai Nicolle’s brilliant comic Axe Cop. If you aren’t familiar with it, you should fix that now. Anyway Ethan has teamed up with colorist Noah Maas and created a brand new comic that you need to see.

Bearmageddon has a slow build up. That’s a good thing. It sets up 20-something Joel and his slacker friends. They end up going to a protest and find themselves chained to trees. That’s when the shit hits the fan. An army of bears begins attacking everyone. The gore is pretty amazing. The comic is able to balance the violence with a surprising amount of humor. It is something I look forward to reading every week.

So why is it so important that I interrupt Hangover Thursday and talk about a web comic? Because yesterday’s update included the panel posted above. I’d say look closely, but the loud mouthed character is pretty much calling attention to himself. Months ago Ethan was looking for ways to earn some additional money and he had the amazing idea to offer up cameos to his readers. I asked to be in the background somewhere and drinking while all the carnage was happening. I think it turned out pretty incredible. Hellz Yeah! Hellz Yeah, indeed!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Dragon’s Dogma: Pawn’s Unleashed

I know many of you belong to Diablo 3 right now, I understand. For me, I’m still waiting for Dragon’s Dogma to be released next week. I can’t help it, I want to dangle from gryphon’s wing and stab it in the face. To try and increase the interest in the game, Capcom has released Pawns Unleashed for your mobile device.

It’s a viral marketing thing, so of course you have to log in with Facebook. Because of that, I was ready to delete the app as soon as I had installed it. Once you get past all of that you create up to three Pawns and send them on missions. Those missions earn you more Rift crystals. You also earn badges for completing different types of missions. The missions are sometimes riddles; other times it tells you exactly where to send your pawn. After that you wait.

And well, not much else. Seriously, I'd talk more about the App but there isn't much to it.  I wouldn't exactly call what was there fun either.  For me the draw of the App is that Capcom will be running contests and you may be able to win yourself some Dragon’s Dogma DLC. The game is mostly a time sink and not much else, but if you’ve got time to waste it and are planning on picking up the game it might be worth it.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Droid Factory

For years Disney has been coming out with different do-it-yourself toys. The first big success that I can remember is their Mr. Potato Head. There are huge bins of pieces and kids can fill up a container full of Potato body parts. They get to pick what pieces they want and as long as the lid closes on the box it sells for that price. A number of other items have followed since then, including build your own lightsabers. Now at Disney’s Hollywood Studios there will be an astromech building line called Droid Factory.

This is not the first time Star Wars has used the Droid Factory name and build-a-droid theme. A while back the Star Wars line got the great idea to do a Droid Factory promotion. What would happen is that when you purchased a figure, it would come with a piece of either an astromech or a more humanoid droid. There were also packs that included a figure, a droid, and a build-a-droid piece. Over 13 waves of figures created 10 astromechs and 10 other droids.

If you were buying large numbers of Star Wars figures it was great for you. I was still collecting Star Wars figures at the time, but only two types. I would buy any Rebel pilot or astromech that came out. The Droid Factory line is when I quit collecting Star Wars. I was okay going to ebay for a rare figure that came packed in with an overpriced starship; I didn’t want to have to hunt down separate legs and domes. I was pretty upset, which seems funny in hindsight. Collecting does strange things to you some time. Regardless, I haven’t bought a single Star Wars figure since then. Even before that rush of Droid Factory figures, I had over 20 different astromech droids.

So now Disney and Star Wars are at it again. There are bins full of droid parts. Kids get to choose a dome, a body, 3 legs, and a hat. A single droid costs 11.95 and a 2 pack will run you 18.95. The build a droid is launching during Star Wars Weekends, but will be around after that has ended. At this moment there are 71 different pieces, with new ones coming in August. It has already been announced an Indiana Jones fedora is going to be part of the April expansion.

Had I still been collecting this would probably have driven me into a frenzy. That need to have one of everything can be pretty crazy. Even in my Flash collecting I’m trying not to be like that anymore. The next time I go to the Hollywood Studios I’ll probably take one of these little guys home. It looks like there is a color scheme that is near and dear to my heart, but that is a post for another day.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Tales from the Brain Jar, #21

It’s been months since I ran a Tales from the Brain Jar. For those who don’t remember I have a sketch book with a brain jar theme. I’ve been very lucky to get some amazing sketches from a number of talented artists. Because I’m pretty proud of the book I like to show it off and hopefully let people know about some books that they may have missed. Today’s sketch comes from Francesco Francavilla.

I met Francesco back when I used to be a regular member of the Hellboy boards a very long time ago. I was obviously impressed with his art. I finally met him in person at Heroes Con in 08. He was working on Zorro and showing off pages from Dracula Meets the Wolf Man (written by Steve Niles).  There was a large group of us who stayed up way too late talking about break dancing, Robocop, and every once in a while, comic books. I may have gotten really drunk.  That weekend I pretty much begged him to come to Megacon just so I could hang out with him again. I also really wanted him to do a Zorro in my sketchbook, but I had run out of time at Heroes and his list had filled up.

This sketch was done at the Megacon mentioned above. During the convention I went to a Pulp Hero panel that had Francesco , Sergio Cariello (Lone Ranger artist), and a writer who was working on Green Hornet prose. I apologize I don’t remember the name of the Green Hornet writer. The panel had a horrible turn out because it was scheduled against a massive Leonard Nemoy panel. I still remember saying how surprised I was that both Lone Ranger and Zorro comic started by retelling the origins. I had though everyone knew those stories, but when the room (of like 6 people) was polled I was the only one already familiar with those stories.

I love the Zorro sketch, but now that Francesco has his own character I would love to get a Black Beetle sketch some day. Also make sure you check out Francesco’s Pulp Sunday blog for more of his amazing art work.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Random Flash Round Up

Happy Flash Friday everyone! There isn’t a real theme today, just a few random Flash bits that I wanted to share before I got too busy with something else. I haven’t really shown off things that I’ve actually purchased in quite some time. Next week should hopefully change that.

The biggest news is that we now have confirmation that the Flash will be in Lego Batman 2! Game Informer magazine was the first place I’ve seen the information. Lego video game developers Traveler’s Tales said that Flash is the fastest character they’ve put into a game. “He kind of dashes around the city and breaks things apart.” His punches and kicks will be lightning quick too. Game Informer goes on to say that there is only one Flash in the game and that Traveller’s Tales is looking into alternate costumes.

Somehow some new Flash shirts snuck out when I wasn’t paying attention. I’m happy to say both of the shirts are symbol shirts. The first looks like the symbol was hand drawn with pencil. I really like this shirt; it may end up getting ordered.

The second shirt takes the logo and dips it in chrome. Despite the fact that I really like black shirts, I like the sketch design shirt a lot better. Still it is a good looking shirt. Both the sketch and chrome shirt are available in other hero symbols for you Bat and Lantern fans.

The next part isn’t really news, just how I’ve been feeling lately. For me, the Young Justice cartoon does everything the “New 52” was supposed to. It is a simplified, modernized take on the characters. The costume redesigns are light years ahead of the ones used in the comics now. I’m excited for each new episode. I used to feel that way ever Wednesday, now I feel that way every Sunday. I know it airs on Saturday, but I wait until Sunday and watch both the DC and Marvel block. Heroes for Hire on the Avengers two weeks ago and jumping out of my seat I was so happy.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Hangover Thursday: Game of Breweries

It’s Hangover Thursday, how’s your head? I had a light drinking night last night, but I did hit my 50 beer milestone last night at World of Beer. A bottle of Guinness Foreign Extra was the beer that put me over. This week we are talking about beer that doesn’t exist.

Redbubble user Satansbrand has been busy designing beer labels based around George RR Martin’s Game of Thrones series. If you like one of the designs they are available as stickers and as shirts. I think the Night’s Watch label is pretty amazing, but it is combing one of my favorite beers with my favorite group from the series.

There are a lot more designs than just the Starks and the Night’s Watch. The Lannisters, Greyjoys, Baratheons, Tullys, Targaryens, and the Seaworth all get the beer label treatment. I really like the designs because to me, they seem subtly geeky, although I guess with the series success on HBO liking the fantasy series probably isn't seen as geeky anymore.  Check out Satansbrand’s portfolio to see them for yourself. He has a lot of other great rockabilly and luchador designs too.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Back to Blood Bowl

I originally got into Warhammer 40K when I was in High School. I painted a lot of miniatures before I really started playing the game though. It took me a while I found out someone else I knew played. I then joined that person’s group of 3 other players. My close friends never got into it though. It might have been the setting, or the cost, or all that painting. Whatever the reason was, all of that changed when the third edition of Blood Bowl came out.

Blood Bowl is a fantasy version of football played by al the races of Warhammer. As the name implies, it gets pretty brutal. Depending on the team you’re playing it is not uncommon to see players badly injured or killed while playing. Wizards cast spells from the sidelines, players sneak weapons on the field, and sometimes people remember there is a ball that needs to get into the end zone. My friends and I played Blood Bowl a lot.

I just recently returned to Blood Bowl thanks to Steam and the Blood Bowl Legendary edition. While back in third edition I grew extremely proficient with a Dark Elf team, I’ve opted to learning how to manage a Dwarf team. Sure I can’t dodge past three attackers and launch a ball down the field anymore. I won’t lie, I do miss that. But as fun as that was, it is just as fun to end a turn the majority of the opposing team on their asses.

Games Workshop still sells Blood Bowl in the specialty shop on their website and there is a strong third party market out there making “Fantasy Football” figures. I’m holding hope in my heart that the line gets revamped at some point in the near future. New team sculpts in plastic to replace the old metal minis would have me throwing money at GW.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Maurice Sendak

Sad news today. Maurice Sendak, best known for his book “Where the Wild Things Are” has passed away. He was 83.

I don’t think it will come to anyone’s surprise that as a kid a book full of giant monsters was one of my favorites. Hopefully my son will enjoy it as much as I did. I think I'm going to be buying it for him tonight.  Last year saw the release of “Bumble-Ardy”, the first book in thirty years that Sendak and written and illustrated. “My Brother’s Book” is scheduled to be published next February.

Monday, May 7, 2012

The Avengers

The Avengers was released in the States on Friday. It was amazing and because it made all the money I am guessing most of you have seen it already. So there ya go. I am not going to do a review, there are at least a million reviews all over the web. Spoiler - Called it...

Saturday, May 5, 2012

2-Headed Shark Attack

There are a lot of shark movies out there; to my knowledge there is only one movie with a 2-headed shark. Now I very strongly believe that sharks are not monsters and we really need to step up our conservation efforts to save them. That being said, I love a shark attack movie. Good, bad, or silly; I will watch them all. So months ago when I heard about 2-Headed Shark Attack I knew I had to see it. It took a little while for me to do so, the movie came out on Blu-Ray on January 31st. Honestly I knew I wanted to see it, I just wasn’t sure if it was worth 20 bucks. Thankfully this movie is currently on Netflix.

The movie centers on a Semester at Sea school group that is attacked by a 2-headed shark. At the start of the movie their ship, the Sea King, runs into a dead shark. The dead shark slams into the bottom of the boat and destroys the propellers. The 2-headed shark also is attacking the boat and manages to break the radio antenna. Honestly I re-watched this sequence a few times. What exactly is happening and why is very hard to figure out. End result is that the Sea King is stranded, taking on water, and has no way to contact the rest of the world.

The man in charge of the expedition is Professor Babish; who is played by Bachelor star and brother of Jerry O’Connell, Charlie O’Connell. The Professor wants to ferry all the kids over to the atoll while his co-captain and crew make repairs to the Sea King. His wife, played by Carmen Electra, doesn’t like the idea and plans to stay on the Sea King. Because of this, Carmen spends the first third of the movie sunbathing on the ship. Among the 15 students is Brooke Hogan.

We have to talk about the shark now. There are no grand science experiments or secret weapon testing in this one, the 2-headed shark is just a freak of nature that somehow survived in nature. Because it has two heads, it is also doubly sensitive electric current in the water. This is the reasoning for it attacking boat motors and things like that. It does not explain how it can eat 20+ people in an hour and still be hungry. The CGI is extremely un-even. Some shots are fairly well done; then there are times where the shark in the HotWheels commercial looks more realistic.

All of the things you would expect to happen here happen. The co-captain trying to make repairs to the boat is eaten. Three teens go “skinny dipping” and are eaten. They call it skinny dipping, but if you’re only topless can you really call it that? Actually almost everyone in this one gets eaten. The body count is pretty massive. The attacks are usually set up so the shark can kill two people at the same time; although there are a few times when one person is ripped apart by both heads.

So after all of that, how is it? This is an Asylum movie through and through; bad special effects, laughable premise, and bad actors. If you don’t like the Sci-Fi Channel’s original movies you aren’t going to like this. I had a good time with this one, mainly because it kept getting more and more absurd. This is a rental though, I can’t really say it is one I need to own. Grab it from Netflix and watch with some friends.


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