Tuesday, May 24, 2011

That F'ing Monkey Search Terms

This week we are celebrating the 1 year anniversary of That F’ing Monkey. I promise we won’t spend the entire week navel gazing. In fact there are some pretty cool articles planned. This Sunday is the actual anniversary and if you’re in the Central Florida area I’ll be at the Ale House in Altamonte Springs around 2-4 celebrating.

Early in the website’s history I became obsessed with statistics. How many page hits did we get in a day? What country or state did they come from? Are they new or returning readers? I’ll pour over charts and lists of this information like it is the cure for cancer. For some reason it fascinates me. One of the most interesting is the “Search Terms”; these are the web searches people put into google or other search engines and eventually ended up on That F’ing Monkey. Today we’re going to look at some of the more interesting and/or funny.

i wish monkeys could skype 1
2011 monkey playoff 2
monkey transformer 5
bloody dragon monkey 1
Friday monkey logo car 1

Obviously with the word monkey in our name we were bound to get some strange monkey searches. I don’t know what monkey playoffs are, but I really want to go to them. If the bloody dragon monkey isn’t in the next Monster Manual I’ll be sorely disappointed. On a final monkey note, I think all of us wish they could use Skype. I now realize it is a line from Hangover 2, but it is too funny not to mention.

mad eye moody rooster cogburn 15
Thundercracker transformer birthday cake designs 1
the superhero who needed a car 1
yank justice 3
Overshaved hobbits 1
King Ken nerd 1
Wonder Woman getting fucked by penguin 1

I grouped all the geekier searches together. It looks like at least 15 other people agreed with my Mad Eye Moody is Rooster Cogburn theory. The Mad Eye Moody article was a pretty popular one and outside of the Lego game, he remains the only thing I really like in Harry Potter. I’m also very happy that someone out there was searching for Yank Justice and found this site. Anyone know who King Ken nerd is? I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned Wonder Woman getting fucked by a Penguin before on the website, so no idea how that one got here. When I first read it I just thought of the animal and not the character. I couldn’t understand why someone would want to see that.

Copepods 253
that shark sounds like a monkey 1
picture of a four fin monkey shark 1

I wrote the copepod article last year during Shark Week. The page hits for that one post quickly out paced everything other thing I had written for the site. I still see strong traffic to that article every week. Apparently there are no good shark parasite resources out there. If anyone has a picture of a four fin monkey shark, please send it to me. I have no idea which shark sounds like a monkey, but I’d love to hear it.  Last year my birthday fell during Shark Week, I'm really hoping that becomes an annual thing.

hd fucking 20
+nerd fuck +hd 1
doctor fucking 1
sex wight aninals 1
shoes fucking 1
cake fucker 3

Well, you put F’ing in your title you’re bound to get something like these right? The shoe one was particularly strange though.  Do you need pictures of that?  Is that two shoes doing it or someone doing it to a shoe?  I'm very confused.

Cool things to make out of liquor bottles 1
Liquor bottles show up on kitchen cabinet 1
Old people bars 3
Shot of everclear throat raw help 1

I think all of these are fun, although I feel for the last one.  Somehow I think it was a teenager trying to show off and it going so very wrong.

That’s it for odd search times. Hopefully you found it as fun as I do; or you at least got a chuckle out of some of them. Obviously because of Flash Friday I get a ton of different Flash searches, but none of those key words were exceptionally funny or strange. Most the video game stuff falls into the same category. I was really disappointed to find people looking for torrents of the Playing for Change stuff. The CD isn’t expensive and it supports such a good cause. Check back tomorrow for more anniversary fun.

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